In Country

Yesterday marked 4 weeks that our Dossier has been In Country, this is an adoption term meaning our Dossier has been in Haiti for 4 weeks. Guess you could have figured that out. We haven't received any word on a refferal, in case your wondering, YES.... I am anxiously waiting. However, I know that Dr. Bernard and his staff have been reviewing our documents and praying over the correct little girl for our family. That sounds so strange to say that they are praying for the perfect child for us. God already knows and has known for along time which little child would enter our lives and when our family would be ready to meet her for the first time.

I must say that adoption is so different than having a child. Ok, ok, I know your thinking, REALLY?.!@ did you just stumble onto this almost one year into the process. Yes and No! When your pregnant each day something new is happening, your either feeling the baby kick, gaining weight  or visiting the doctor- those were basically my three stages :). I loved being pregnant with both my kiddos minus the weight gain. You anticipate the end and feels like it is never going to get here, the moment you will meet you precious little bundle of joy. Realistically, you know you can't be pregnant more than 40 weeks give or take a couple. With adoption while your collecting documents and gathering paperwork, you experience that daily connection. However, this current stage of adoption seems like, us bringing our daughter home, just isn't real. I think our kids are beginning to think the same thing.They pray for their sister and Riley draws pictures of her family of 5 but I can't imagine how long this process seems to them. I know I have talked about this before but it just boggles my mind. I feel so connected to our little one some days and distant others. These emotions do have one thing in common with pregnancy, there are highs and lows.

I know the wait can't even compare to the super special memories we will make as a family of 5. We pray for our daughter's needs to be met but also that God will not only continue to do a work in us but in her as well, preparing our hearts for each other. God is great at prepping us for what is ahead when we seek him. I'm so thankful that our God is in control, I know He is working in me each day.

BTW - I sure hope to be posting some great news the next couple of weeks!!!!      

Can't Believe We Are Here

So the moment has arrived when we finally sent our Dossier to Haiti. We are part of a group through NLL where the families support each other going through the adoption process, let me just say how thankful I am for this group. I'm sure this want be the last time that I will be super grateful for the support, a sweet couple from the group was headed to Haiti Sunday and agreed to hand deliver our Dossier to Dr. Bernard. What a peace I felt when Lindsay agreed to do this for us.

I can't wait for the moment we receive our call or email from Dr. Bernard with a picture of our sweet, precious child. What a wave of emotion that will be. I keep thinking I have already experienced every emotion possible but then again I know this is only the beginning. (On a side note I teared up Friday when we packaged up our Dossier to send to CO, Brad thought I was alittle overboard but from one mother to another that resembled one step closer to bringing my sweet child home, He gets it, he was really happy but he just didn't feel the need to shed tears. However, this momma couldn't have stopped them.)

I can't wait for our first evening as a family of 5 at home just hanging out or our first Sunday at church together. We went on a small day trip over the weekend and I couldn't help but think our child should be there with us making these family memories. I am overcome with joy that the Lord has found our family faithful and worthy of such an AMAZING opportunity to walk with Him. I continue to feel God's grace during this process.

I know we will continue to struggle as more time passes, our hearts will become saddened by that fact that our precious child sits hundreds of miles away waiting for us to bring them home forever. I will do my best to remind myself that my Heavenly Father loves our child even more than we do and His plan is perfect. May His will be done and may glory and praise be given to Him.   

  

It has crossed my mind several times to post in the last couple of months but I just really haven't had any news to share. Not any news that I wanted to share. We received all our documents back from the Haitian Consulate right before our trip to the beach the first week of June. I was super excited and ready to send our Dossier to Haiti. I was on top of the world thinking we would have a photo any day of our child. However, the same day we were scheduled to leave for the beach, we received a letter from USCIS requesting additional information for approval here in the US. Most familes adopting have to wait for this approval before moving forward to their child's home country but that was not the case with Dr. Bernard. This was another advantage so it seemed when adopting from Haiti, you could go ahead and move forward with the process in Haiti before receiving approval here in the US. This was not going to be the case for us which saddened me. After receiving the letter, we made the decision to gather all documents and wait for approval before moving any further in the process.

The thought of not being approved for adoption broke my heart. Brad and I have both prayed and cried, cried and prayed and prayed some more. I know in my heart God can move mountains, He can make a signature appear where He wants it too. My flesh began telling me maybe we weren't meant to adopt, we weren't going to get approval and my dream of bringing our little girl home was looking so distant. I wrestled with myself over and over through the last few weeks. I kept coming back to God already knows all the details, He wrote this chapter of my life along time ago. We have prayed for God's will and we have been praying that our plans for our family were God's plans for our family. We jumped through hoops to get everything ready to send out. This past Friday our updated homestudy and all documents were ready to be sent to Lees Summit, MO, our deadline was the end of the day Monday. So as I walked out of Pony Mailbox Express Friday afternoon I gave our documents over to God and said may Your will be done, I trust you. I was thinking it may be weeks before we would hear anything.

To my surprise when I arrived home yesterday, Brad said I received a call from USCIS just a few moments ago. My lip dropped and my heart sank. He said our case worker called to let us know that she had received our documents and everything was on her desk to be reviewed. He took the time to explain how much we hoped our case would be approved and we had everything ready to send to Haiti as soon as we received approval. Our case worker said that she would call me today with an answer one way or another. So you can only imagine how my day went, my phone didn't leave my side all day. I anxiously awaited. Each time I called Brad today, he would answer saying did she call? I began thinking is she ever going to call. I was even thinking about how I was going to respond.     

So after the longest day/wait in my life, my phone rang at 4:51 today, And the answer was......she was recommending us for approval from her supervisor which is routine. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or scream. I continue to learn through this process that God has all the details and He is never a day late with his blessings in our lives. I hope to be able to share our story with others to bring glory to God. He continues to show me His grace even when I don't deserve it. Thanks to everyone for your prayers, we love you all. We hope to send our Dossier to Haiti in the next few weeks and we will yet again be asking for your prayers but we will be so grateful.