Haiti Bound

The day has finally arrived when we will see our baby girl for the first time. I can't describe the feeling I have as we sit here in the airport waiting to board our first flight. It's early, I've had about 2.5 hours of sleep and my two sweet made kiddos are at home nestled in their warm beds with their Mimi. However, my other sweet girl is many moons away and she will wake up this am without anyone to hug or kiss her. But after this short 4 hour flight, I will hold her and pray she will experience the love a mother shares with her kids. So for 2 days I will cuddle and love her so big. Praying for the moments to pass slowly and that we will enjoy every moment we have with her. I will come back home to my precious kiddos and go back to our normal way of life here but I will never be the same after today. My heart will reside in another country far away for up to the next 2 or 2.5 years. Yes, we will make trips to visit but we will leave with empty arms. 

I will cherish this trip and the trips to come until God decides it is Ellie's time to come home to her forever family! We love you Ellie, today we come to you with open hearts and open arms! 

Anxiously Awaiting.....

I think, anxiously awaiting is the best way to describe the way I spend my days now, that may even be an understatement. I check our email and Facebook page several times a day looking for new pictures or updates from families visiting their children in Haiti. I did this same thing almost compulsively before we received our referral. I thought it might get better once I saw her face but now I can't seem to look at it often enough. I'm not sure that the compulsion will go away until our sweet Ellie is in my arms, at our house, in our family forever. 

Each month our creche send a brief update on height, weight and a new photo. Today I saw Ellie's monthly update, I knew it was coming this week so I have been extra aware of our email inbox. :) I read the update on height and weight and scrolled quickly to the bottom to see her photo attached. My emotions start, first so happy to see her face, see her growing and doing well. Next alittle sadness because she looks like she has grown so much since her last photo. The more I begin thinking about it, I then begin thinking of the missed opportunity for bedtime hugs and kisses, morning smiles (those were such sweet times for me when my kiddos were little seeing their smiles first thing in the morning). and snuggle time. Missing the making of these memories is going to be tough but I have to move past these thoughts, I know she is in good hands. God has chosen the perfect time for Ellie to enter our lives and home. I must look to Him to fill these empty spots in my heart for our girl. I was reminded this week through devotionals that God goes before me each and every day before I wake, He will not let anything overwhelm me as long as I take everything to Him. I have to give Him Ellie because He GAVE her to us. I will place my complete trust and faith in Him. 

I will continually wait anxiously for many milestones to come: our first trip to meet our girl in August, those post with new pics and monthly updates, emails notifying us that we are one step closer, bringing Ellie to meet her brother and sister for the first time.... but I will do so knowing God is ahead of each one of them. 

So with that the count down begins....41 days until I board a plane to Haiti. And the SMILES begin again because you can't look at this face and not smile.        

          

Who is your Author?

Who is the Author of your days? Do you make decisions on our own or do you trust in your Heavenly Father to guide your every step? I can't say that my husband and I have always consulted God before we made decisions but I'm proud to say that we do today. We started this blog in 2010 after God had placed the orphan crisis on our hearts through our church and my husband's mission trip to Haiti. We wanted to take the step to Choose God over wordily things and possessions. After much prayer, we decided to pursue adoption.  At first it started out we have extra food on the table, we have love to love another child. However, God slowly took what we thought we had to offer to a new level. It was no longer about us but about Him, how God sent His Son to take our place for our sin and adopted us as His own. We both enjoyed the song we sang so many years at church Today (As For Me and My House) we choose to follow you. Today is no different than 2 years ago when we decide to create this blog, we choose Jesus.

And today.....May 7th God wrote another sweet, sweet chapter in our lives.....He ordained this day oh so long ago but we were given a glimpse of His glory today! We were given a picture of our precious 2 month old baby girl, whom we have waited over a year and a half to see her face. Prayed for morning and night....we now see her, the beautiful little child God created for our family. God is so good!!!!

I say all this to say sometimes, we get in the way of God's plans or try to turn in a different direction. It is so hard to know sometimes what to do even after praying. We had just made the decision that after waiting 8 months in country that we might need to look to other creches' in Haiti that had waiting children. We didn't take this decision lightly, we prayed about it and didn't always come to the same place. There were days my husband said God is telling me to wait, to be still. My heart as a mother was telling me I had a child who needed me, I needed her. Don't get me wrong, I am very blessed and love the two "gems"children I have but as a mother I knew of another child. God had grown this child in my heart not in my tummy. There were days when we had to fight the enemy as he tried his best to tell us this wasn't God's plan for our lives. Today God showed the enemy differently. Today God showed us His plan. Thank You Lord for your plans and your perfect timing!

God has a plan for each of us, we would have been blessed if we hadn't chosen to adopt but I'm so glad that we did. God has shown us over and over through this process what He is capable of doing. We get to grow in our faith and see God move these obstacles and mountains we face to get our daughter home. I know we have just begun this walk, we will face times of sadness that our daughter is so far away and the whys of it all but how great to know if we call on the name of Jesus, He will carry us through. God's unfailing love is the greatest gift!

We have friends who will be in Haiti next week so I will be posting pictures of our girl soon. I will not rush the time between now and when our new addition comes homes. Just remind me I said that in a few months on those rough days!