Saturday, August 25, 2012

Unsettled

This morning I find myself unsettled....As I sit here in the comfort of my home, awaking after a decent nights sleep in a bed and waking to sunshine, I turn on the tv and check Facebook to see if there have been any updates from a place many miles away. A place I never knew would be so dear to me. How can you visit a place once and be so changed? Only God that is how!!! 

I have neglected to post about our trip and wish I would have done so before now. I don't want this post to over shadow our trip to meet Ellie. But I feel I need to post about this time...Tropical storm Isaac has/is passing over Haiti and did so during the night. When the storm ends it won't be over. Will they have power, will they have food, will the water be contemned, will there be mudslides? How long will they experience the effects of the storm after it passes? These are all questions that I have for my daughter, her caregivers and the men and women of Haiti.

I know I'm not in control of anything really, but this gives new meaning to trying to protect something so precious that is so far away. The answer is only Jesus....it has always been only Jesus and I know that but I continue to be reminded of that during this entire process. I'm broken by how far away my daughter is and I can't console her from the storms or even touch her sweet face. My emotions are so all over the place. I want to hop a plane and go to Haiti this minute, I want to bring Ellie home to an environment close within reach, I want her to experience life in our family. Why is this so hard for me when she really doesn't even know where we are or that we are even coming back for her. She is so little, so innocent, so precious, a true blessing!

I could go on and on but I am asking God to hold her closely over these next few days and weeks. I need you Jesus to help me make it through these next several months or even a year to get to the day when I get to cradle Ellie in my arms in her room. God will get the glory from all of this and our family will see these times as a reminder of God's unfailing love. Thank you Jesus for your word, your love and your outstretched arms to cover a gap no mother could cover on her on.





 

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Haiti Bound

The day has finally arrived when we will see our baby girl for the first time. I can't describe the feeling I have as we sit here in the airport waiting to board our first flight. It's early, I've had about 2.5 hours of sleep and my two sweet made kiddos are at home nestled in their warm beds with their Mimi. However, my other sweet girl is many moons away and she will wake up this am without anyone to hug or kiss her. But after this short 4 hour flight, I will hold her and pray she will experience the love a mother shares with her kids. So for 2 days I will cuddle and love her so big. Praying for the moments to pass slowly and that we will enjoy every moment we have with her. I will come back home to my precious kiddos and go back to our normal way of life here but I will never be the same after today. My heart will reside in another country far away for up to the next 2 or 2.5 years. Yes, we will make trips to visit but we will leave with empty arms. 

I will cherish this trip and the trips to come until God decides it is Ellie's time to come home to her forever family! We love you Ellie, today we come to you with open hearts and open arms!